Who Won the War of 1812?
by CJWrites
Summary: After finally finding time to get together to commemorate the beginning of the War of 1812, Canada and America have a picnic in the Peace Arch Park. However one question comes up, whose side do we eat on and who won the war? Belated oneshot for the bicentennial of the War of 1812.


**I got this idea from watching too many Rick Mercer Report videos (again XD) This was inspired by the ones on the War of 1812 (which can be viewed on youtube by searching rmr war of 1812).**

**Written partially for the Bicentennial of the War of 1812.**

**Who won the War of 1812? **

'Come on. Where is he. He's late!' Canada though as he tapped his shoes impatiently while leaning against the white stone of the Douglas Crossing or the Peace Arch. He was often late but if any nation could beat him at tardiness it was America… or Greece but that's another story.

The reason why he was here in the first place was to commemorate the War of 1812. America and him wanted to meet earlier, perferrably on the day that the war actually began but between the recession and Euro-Crisis piling up more paperwork and world meetings on their already work-covered desk (due to too much procrastination on both of their parts), they just couldn't find the time.

"Dude! Sorry I'm late but I stopped by at McDonalds to pick up lunch! Sorry I drank the soda on the way here though." America stopped, grinning that confident smile of his.

Well Canada wasn't getting pushed around, this time.

"I told you to pick up something _healthy_ not junk food! You never listen do you, eh?"

"Chill! I got you a salad. Happy?" America said showing him the bag. "Gotcha Chicken Ranch or something or the other. And its not junk so don't call it junk food"

"Its not just me. I want you to stop consuming your body mass in McDonalds every day. It's a good thing you have a fast metabolic rate."

"Yeah sure whatever. Lets go sit down and eat." America took Canada's hand and tried to pull him towards his side of the park.

"Oh no you don't! I won the War of 1812 so we get to sit on my side."

"Whaaaa! Dude that was totally out of line! The Hero won the war of 1812 and you know it!"

"Oh yeah? Who burnt down your White House in 1814" Canada smirked to himself. This argument was as good as won.

"Duh! England did! I don't exactly recall you being there."

"You don't recall me being there in a lot of wars. You just show up late and call yourself a hero."

"Can you prove you were there?" America shot back.

"Can you prove I was not?" Canada retorted.

"Besides I did awesome things in 1815 at New Orleans."

"That didn't count! It was after the treaty was signed! My victory at Beaver Dams was totally better than yours, eh!"

"Only because a girl had to save your sorry butt. Besides I burnt down your capital too."

"I didn't have a capital so how can you burn it down?" Canada looked genuinely befuddled for a minute. "Just because you think Toronto is my capital sometimes and burnt down government buildings there doesn't mean you burnt my capital. Besides if you did win the war I would be spelling colour the wrong way."

"When was that ever a main objective of the war. I was trying to stop England from interfering with my friendships and business relationships."

"So picking on me because you couldn't get away with picking on England. Real heroic."

"Dude! You were part of England. Come to think of it, how does a nation win a war if they weren't their own country at the time?"

"The same way you say you won the Seven Years War." Canada mumbled "You kept rubbing it into my face because that's the only big war we were both involved in on opposing sides with a clear conclusion."

"Yeah but I was on the winning side!"

"Which is exactly my point! You didn't win so I did."

"But I did. I got all of my main objectives so case in point, I won."

"But my objective was to kick your sorry ass back into your own country, which I did so I won."

"Fine it was a tie, happy." America grumbled

"True. But that doesn't solve the problem of where to sit."

"Lets just eat here."

"Alright."

So they both sat down and Canada spread out a picnic blanket while America unpacked his McDonald bag. After finishing the meal they decided to walk around a bit.

"Hey Bro, I could really go for some coffee and doughnuts." America said

"Great idea! Lets go to Tim Horton's"

"What! But I wanna go to Dunkin' Doughnuts."

"But you picked lunch so I get to pick dessert."

"Please you just want to go to Tim Horton's because it has 'healthy' food"

"Do no! Timmy's!"

"Dunkin's!"

"Timmy's!"

"Dunkin's!"

**And there you have it. Generally Americans like to think they won the war since they proved their capability and solidified their independence from Britain who still though they could meddle in American affairs while Canadians like to think they won because they burnt down the white house and they successfully repelled an American invasion, which would be pretty much impossible today.**


End file.
